My love

I just realised something horrible, I haven’t written anything about one of the thing I hold dearest in this world, my amazing horse. I bought her when I was 12 years old, my mom told me that if I could get the money to buy a horse I was allowed to buy one when I turned twelve. I’ll never forget her face when I showed up at my twelfth birthday with money enough to buy a horse myself, she probably never thought that I would succeed. I had worked, cleaning everywhere I could, and at she stable where I got riding lessons I helped with the stable and the ponies. All my allowance was put into saving and I hadn’t spent a penny on anything not entirely necessary, this was of course before I developed my addiction to movies and music. My sister and I started looking around for a pony, even though I’d rather by a horse, but because I was a kid, my mom thought it would irresponsible for me to buy a big horse, but luckily my sister argued my case and we started looking around for my dream horse. The first horse we looked at was a fullblood, we arrived finding a skinny horse in a dark dirty stable, the horse was covered in sweat and it’s was clear that they had trained it before I came so that it would be more relaxed. It was an amazing horse, he was so beautiful even though he looked like shit, and I wanted to buy him just to rescue him, but I would have been stupid to spent what for me was a small fortune on a horse that had a limb on the front leg, and that clearly would be trouble for an unexperienced girl.

The second horse we went looking at was a beautiful eight year old brown mare, with a glow in the eyes I’ve never seen in any other horse. Her eyes were filled with frustration and fear, but I fell in love right away. She was barely broken in, the guy who had tought her had only been racing around in the woods, so it was rather impossible riding dressage on her, since the horse had no balance. They could barely get me on her, because she just ran around in circles, my mom stood shaking her head and biting her nails far away from this unstable creature. When I sad on her I and we walked around, I couldn’t stop her every time I touched the reins she shook her head and increased her speed. She didn’t react logically to anything I did, but I had the time of my life. Of course I should have seen all the little warnings, but I was in love, again luckily my sister talked my mother into letting me buy her, because like me she saw potential.

I’ll never forget the day we went to get her, I have never been so excited in my entire life. When we got there we saw seven people fighting with the horse trying to get her in the trailer, this mare clearly didn’t want to give up she was bathed in sweat and her eyes looked raging. I was close to tears when I saw this, they were torturing my horse. They used every dirty trick in the book to get her into the trailer, and I know now that it probably was necessary because this horse was one stubborn bitch 😉 But at this time of my life, I’d never seen people fighting with a horse like this, and I was quite terrified. Eventually they all succeeded, and we drove of with my horse, my brother and me had never tried driving with a horse before, so we didn’t really know that the horse wasn’t suppose to be so fidgety, but after 100 kilometers we agreed that it probably wasn’t normal. Thinking back on this it was so irresponsible for us to travel with this horse, but we didn’t know any better at the time. When we reached the stable I was so afraid to open the door, because I had no idea what I would find when I opened it. We needed to get this horse out of there as fast as possible, I opened the door and saw my beautiful mare even sweatier and with even more dispear in her eyes, she basically ran out of the trailer when we opened, she jumped around and finally she got away from me and ran off. Little did I know that this would be her signature move during the next year. She kicked the ass of all the other horses on the field and nobody not even me could let her out in the morning, but I came every morning before school and let her out, so that she could burn of some energy before the other horses were let out, or I didn’t really let her out, I opened the stall and then she ran and the only thing I could do was to hold on as good as possible. I never told my mother about this, because I knew that she would become crazy worried and never let me out of her sight. Luckily my best friend at the time had also bought herself a horse that was kind of a troublemaker, so we fought everyday with our gremlins while we had the time of our life 🙂

It took me three weeks to get on her back by myself, but the day I succeeded was fantastic. Then we started riding everyday and things slowly got better as she started to relax and trust me a little bit. She still ran away from me, tried biting me, ran around when I tried to get on her back and jumped around when I finally got on her back, but it was a little better and that was good enough for me, I didn’t see any of the warnings she gave me. Unfortunately I knew nothing about saddles, and the one I’d gotten from the owners, didn’t fit my poor horse at all. So when I’d had her in six month, I called a veterinarian because her back was incredibly sore. Her back was hurt rather bad,  so he told me that I couldn’t ride her for at least three months, I was devastated at this point riding was still the most important thing to me. I felt so guilty because I hadn’t realised the injury sooner, I could literally kick myself. But this was the greatest thing that could have happened to us, at first my dear horse was aggressive and frustrated, and I had no idea what to do. Luckily there was this woman in the stable, Rasser who knew horsemanship, she saved us. It’s was so hard and it required a level of patience I didn’t know I had in me. But after a couple of weeks everything had changed, finally we started trusting each other. She ended up being trained like a dog, because that was all I had experience with, it may sound weird but rather practicle having a horse obeying the commandos, stay, come and wait. During this time we developed an amazing relationship from ground, and I realised that we really needed this break, so that I would change my focus from riding to just being with my horse and enjoying spending time with her no matter what we did.

Six months after the injury I could start riding her again without saddle, we started from scratch. Learning everything again one step at a time, it was slow but totally worth the trouble and patience, because we developed a connection I’d never dared hoping to find with anyone. After getting over most of our hurdles we reached the one that scared me the most, getting her into a trailer, today I still fear how she might react to this, but after years of rehearsing we finally made it, in december when we moved her she walked straight up, I have never been this proud. When you achieve something with a horse it such an accomplishment, because it’s such a huge animal and you can’t be sure of what goes around inside their head. The greatest thing I’ve ever achieved is this horse.

During a very tough time of my life, my horse saved me. I have no idea where I would have been without her, and I do not dare to think of it. I sad in her stall for hours crying, and just by having this animal by my side I felt more comfort than I could have found in the arms of my mother. Racing on her through the forest would clear my mind, and make me forget my sorrows, a horse is truly the greatest therapist I have ever had.

I always said that I was going to sell her, but I never could. Now I don’t have much time and unfortunately this mostly concerns my poor horse. I have neglected her, and I feel horrible, even though she nineteen years old she’s still young in mind. Sometimes she acts like a four-year old, and this is why I could never sell her, she just got the most amazing spirit. Having a horse means that you are always followed with guilt and worries, and a part of me would like not having to feel that way constantly, but what would I do without this horse? I hope that she knows how much she means to me, how much I love her and how much I owe her. Most of my greatest memories is about this horse or the people I’ve met because of her. So all that’s left to say is thank you.

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About theevilicequeen

Hi, I'm the only true IceQueen left in the world.. I have passed the exams, and now I'm in control of snow and ice all over the world... It's pretty fucking awesome....
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2 Responses to My love

  1. stenfalk says:

    ah, that is so sweet 🙂 I am sure she knows 🙂
    I would have liked to know her when she was young though, she sounds like a nice little bitch 😉

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