So, here I am today I’m going to my third festival this year, yeah I know I’ve become addicted. I’ve done this before, but this time it’s very different, for the first time in eleven years I can just go. My beloved horse that was put down a week ago, always had me worried. Luckily a dear friend of mine would always look after her, last night I sat in the middle of writing a text message to her asking if she would watch her, it wasn’t until I wrote the name Lise in the message, I realised that it was all wrong. I felt a kick in my stomach, eleven years of habit doesn’t disappear that easily… But also it’s kind of nice not to have the constant guilt and worry sick everyday, but wow this takes time.
Woops, this post was not supposed to be about that, but Lise still occupies eighty percent of my poor twisted mind. The last twenty percent has found a new victim, this male that I’ve written about earlier, the one I thought I had chased away after a very drunk concert, well safe to say I had not.
The day after Lise was put down, he came to visit me in Odense, and we went out to get a beer and coffee. It was so nice. He’s very sweet, but that day it was very clear that he was nervous as hell. Not sure why though I’m very pleasant company 😉 But after an hour he became a bit more relaxed, and we took a long walk. I thought that we probably didn’t have much in common, but what the hell let’s give the poor guy a chance.
When we said goodbye I got a hug. I was stunned, WTF! In my world, I’ve always kissed guys rather quick. To kind of test the waters 😉 After he didn’t kiss me, I thought that he probably wasn’t interested, I freaked out on my way home wondering what I had done wrong. Then I received this message: “Wow, you are just so sweet” Then I had to kick myself in the face, why did I expect him to kiss me so soon? Of course because I usually meet guys at bars when I’m drunk, and then kissing or sex always seems to be the end station for the evening. So I told myself why not just enjoy a guy that wants to take things slow.
Then this thursday I went to visit him in his house, far far from the city. I entered and the first thing I thought was wow, this guy clearly doesn’t give a damn about interior design. I’ve never been more relieved. There’s nothing I hate more than men, that’s interested in pillows and carpets, that’s my area 😉
Then we just sat talking, drinking coffee and listening to music. Now I was pleased to realise that we loved a lot of the same music. I was especially thrilled when he put this one on and told me that he loved it. Wow. Because I simply looooove this cover of Jolene.
Then half through the date he asks me if I would mind him kissing me, because he’d been wanting to do that all day. Of course I said yes 😉 It was so sweet, and not something I’ve ever tried before.
Everytime I have seen him, he writes the sweetest messages, and the worst thing is I don’t hate it. He doesn’t write all the time like other guys, just when it makes sense, and I love that.
This friday we had to work together, because I had been summon to help in the kitchen at work. Wow that was weird. I just wanted to hug him, but I couldn’t. Then when we were almost finished, I was standing in the walk-in fridge and putting stuff away, when he came and said that he just needed to kiss me. Honestly, that was one of the sweetest thing I’ve ever tried.
So, you may vomit 😉
He’s also coming to visit me at this festival I’m attending. He doesn’t have a ticket and it’s sold out, so he’s driving 140 kilometers, to se me. I’m kind of panicking about that, but also I can’t wait to see him again. I’m not sure how this has happened, because I rarely let guys into my life like that, but for some reason I feel that this guy really deserves a chance.
I don’t like giving him the power to be able to hurt me, but on the other hand I can’t stay the evil ice queen forever when it comes to the opposite sex 😉 Or can I… MUHAHAHAHAHA