So, I really wanna write something but I have no idea what to write about. It’s kind of funny, I really thought that my creativity would thrive in the big city, but unfortunately no. Perhabs it’s because I’m happy and sober, a rather scary concept. Of course I miss my family, friends and boyfriend, but I love it here. Nobody is there to catch me if I fall, and I can feel this making me grow stronger everyday.
It’s scary being alone. Of course I have a friend from Denmark here, but not one of my old friends, not one of those who know every part of me. I love her, and without her I probably wouldn’t survive. She’s very good at motivating me to go to school and do my homework, she should really receive a medal for that.
It’s hard not having my close and old friends down here. Luckily we have Skype and Facebook, so we can communicate for free. But it’s a lot harder than I thought. I miss all you guys like crazy. But luckily Brussels is capable of distracting me from this most of a time.
A thing I enjoy, and this can only sound wrong, but I love being without my family. Of course I’ll never tell them this. But I have always been very close to my family, both in a good and a bad way. We have always been to much of a family, and this means that you can’t make a decision without it having to be approved at home. I’m not at all complaining of course, I love them, and couldn’t live without them. But I’ve always been the outsider at home, the one who made weird decisions, the geek about movies, music and the only one who ever read fiction. Now I can be me, without any restrictions, and I’m loving this. During these for month I might be able to detach myself from my family, and just do what I wanna do without worrying about what they might think.
Right now I can do whatever I wanna do, and well the funny thing is, I have never been more calm. I don’t feel the need to party all the time, I don’t drink alone and I’ve never been less self destructive. I know, it’s crazy 😉
I think that this is half because of Henrik and half because I might be able to figure myself out down here. So hopefully this will be a life changing experience, and maybe it wont. But no matter what, I will always cherish my time down here, well on the other hand if I didn’t I would just be an ungratefull bitch 😉
So, I found something to write about. Buhja 🙂