Not to worry I haven’t cheated on my boyfriend and he hasn’t cheated on me. This topic just occurred to me. In a Danish morning show it was said that every third in Denmark has cheated on their partner. I find this extremely appalling and decided to write a little bit about it.
I must admit that I cheated once, but I was a teenager and the relationship wasn’t all that serious… For me. I kissed another guy while I had a boyfriend and I still can’t believe I did it. My boyfriend was sweet and he truly cared for me, but I was selfish and young. I hate that I broke his heart, he didn’t deserve that. I’m still sorry for how I treated him. Back then I told myself that I would never be unfaithful again, and I haven’t.
Scientists have researched a lot on the matter and in Denmark men doesn’t cheat more than women, it’s a tie. But the reasons for why they cheat are very different. Men cheat because they don’t get enough sex at home or because they feel that their partner doesn’t need them anymore. Men needs to feel needed and have someone to take care off. This is why men often cheat with a younger girl, because she idolizes him and needs him to take care off her. I know I’m exaggerating a bit, but you get the idea. There will always be exceptions of course, I’m sure that my boyfriend would never cheat on me because he needed sex, because I’m much more horny than he is…
Women cheats because they wants confirmation, or because they don’t get the emotional closeness at home. An affair is mostly sex and being together emotionally. All the annoying everyday stuff is at home, with the husband.
In Denmark around forty percent of all marriages ends in divorce, and one-third of these is because of infidelity. It scares me a little. My parents have been together for thirty-three years, they’ve been going through foreclosure, having build a life and watch everything crumble, having no money, having a very sick child (me), cancer and deaths. These two are amazing. Of course they fight sometimes and have problems, but they have never given up. Perhaps it has had a lot to do with us kids, but none the less they have chosen to be together and I admire that.
I don’t wanna get a divorce.
Yeah, I know that I need to get married before I can get a divorce 😉 But if I ever got cheated on again, I’m sure I would run like hell. My first boyfriend cheated on me amongst other things, I knew that he was being unfaithful and the relationship was ending anyway, but it just hurt so bad. My very first boyfriend and I wasn’t enough for him. It has affected all my engaging’s with men ever since. For years I never trusted any man and I never let him get close enough to hurt me.
But, then there’s was a guy who made me open up and I really wanted to give him a chance. Only to find out, that he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. Sigh. Men. I got burned yet again.
So, I decided that onenight-stands were the way to go, and they’ve been very good to me for many years. But, they do get dull after a while. My current boyfriend and the one that I truly believe that I’ll spend the rest of my life with, has promised me that he will never cheat on me. It was one of the first things he said, “I can’t promise you much, but I will promise you fidelity.” He’s been cheated on as well, so I actually believe him.
For the first time in my life I actually enjoy being in a relationship, not enjoy I love being in this relationship. The only downside is how extremely vulnerable I’ve become, it’s both kinda nice but at the same time very scary. I’m not keen on putting my happiness in other people’s hands, but I have and now I can only hope that he’ll take good care of it 😉
A little more on infidelity, we’ve all seen movies with married people where for example the husband isn’t nice and the woman runs of with Johnny Depp 😉 Then you always root on the new young couple. But, technically it’s wrong. The movies I hate are the ones where the husband is a sweet, boring man with a heart of gold and the woman runs of and cheats on him with a biker. When the husband is a good man, the wife should have the guts to leave him before the affair get out of hand. I those movies I have a hard time rooting for the “right” couple, I always think of that poor husband sitting at home with the kids. Doesn’t seem quite right.
Infidelity is everywhere, on tv, in films, in books and unfortunately in real life. I have no idea how to prevent it from happening. Because I have a hard time imagining how a relationship can be saved after such a break on the mutual trust. I just hope that I’ll never experience it again.