Dear Grandmother

I only have two grandparents left, my grandmothers. My mothers mother is well and fresh, she’s very social and active. So, that’s nice. Hopefully she’ll stay around for many years to come.

My father’s mother is sick, very sick. Last week she was moved from her home to a retirement center, and now they are discussing moving her to a hospice. I went to visit her last monday and luckily she was better than expected. But, unfortunately it’s only going down hill from now on.

She has always lived very unhealthy. She has been drinking heavily all her life and been smoking. She has never been very active, so in a way it’s a miracle that she has managed to turn 84. She has been well right until a month ago, so in a way I hope that she’ll go fast. She has liver cancer and bone cancer. She was in the hospital, but they decided that they couldn’t do more. Right now she can’t walk and she’s very weak, but she still got spunk.

She has lived a rich life, travelled the world with my grandfather who was a captain. She has given birth to five children. She has ten grandchildren and four great-grandchildren. She has celebrated golden wedding. How many will experience these things in the future? Very few if you ask me.

I can’t believe that time has gone by so fast, it feels like yesterday we sat playing with smurfs or went fishing. Most of my childhood memories holds my grandmother, I can’t imagine how life is going to be without her.

When I was little we lived on a rather huge farm, next to it there was this adorable little cottage my grandparents rented from my father. This house will forever be my dream house, I was just perfect. It looked small but didn’t feel small, it had a thatched roof and had a big yard. God I loved that house.

Every afternoon I walked over there to visit. I was a little kid and this was my second home, when things got to tough at home I walked to my sanctuary.

Thinking back it might have the most political incorrect “daycare” ever. Before I was allowed to play with my grandmother my grandfather told me to roll his cigarettes. When his cigarette holder was full, then I could go play. I think it was a good thing that my parents didn’t know this.

My grandmother is great with kids, the best I have ever met. She has incredible patience and loves to play along. We would play with the Smurfs, build little cities and make small gardens. We played bookstore or jewelry store. I loved her jewelry, everything was gold and huge. I have spent days sitting and staring at her jewelry. We walked to the forest with our dog, Spot and our cat. It was so funny, the cat always followed us all the way. She walked a few meters behind, but she followed us anywhere. We played football, flew kites and ate strawberries.

When the hours turned four o’clock she needed a beer. Then we sat down in the kitchen and split a beer. I think it was 30-70 but still, I loved it. Again it was a good thing that mom and dad didn’t hear about this until a few years ago. They wouldn’t have been thrilled to hear that their five-year old daughter drank beer everyday. 😉

So my dear dear grandmother, you have given me a great childhood. Nobody ever played with me at home, my siblings where much older, mom and dad where busy and there were no other kids around. You always played with me and allowed me to act like a spoiled brat, I really needed that. I owe you so much, I owe you countless of happy hours and fun experiences in our own backyard. You’ve taught me the joy of family, and I truly hate that my children wont experience your gentle nature.

Grandmother, I hope that I get to visit one more time. I don’t ever want you to go, but I hope for you that when you do you’ll go quickly and pain-free. You deserve that, you really do. I will never be ready to say goodbye, you represent a huge part of my childhood. How can I ever say goodbye to that?

I apologise for the bad picture quality, but I don’t have any digital pictures of her.

Just to end this post I will show some pictures of my favourite Smurfs. There are two things that forever will remind me of you grandmother, Smurfs and the blue Nivea creme. Those two things always puts a smile on my face, just like they do on yours..

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About theevilicequeen

Hi, I'm the only true IceQueen left in the world.. I have passed the exams, and now I'm in control of snow and ice all over the world... It's pretty fucking awesome....
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