I haven’t had one of these days for a long time. I have been good, very good. Things are working out for me and I’m happy.. But, yesterday drained for all of my energy.
Yesterday we celebrated my boyfriends birthday, with both our families. So, lots of people. People who haven’t met before. I was so nervous, I’m not sure why. Both of our families are nice, but still I had dreaded this day.
Everything went perfectly, nice conversation, food and everything. So I had nothing to be nervous about. When they had all left, I melted. I crumbled completely, I couldn’t stop crying, I was shaking and was unable to move an inch.
It’s been a long time since I have felt that bad. It scares me that I can still break like that. I have to realise that I still can’t handle that much. I need days where I don’t have to do anything, otherwise I’ll eventually break down.
Today I should have been riding a trip with two of my friends. I really wanted too. I miss riding in the forest, that’s one of my favourite things in the entire world. But, still I simply couldn’t.
Tears have just keept running for the past three hours. They won’t stop and I’m just so tired.
I hate this.
So, I’m spending the day recovering. I will be fine in a couple of hours, but for know I’m just exhausted. Exhausted and hungry, but I can’t manage to cook anything. So, hopefully my boyfriend won’t be late from work. 😉
Luckily my boyfriend is extremely understanding and helpfull. He understands that I have days where nothing happens. I’m beyond grateful that he loves me, flaws and all.
Well, but enough about that crab. It isn’t so bad, just extremely annoying wasting yet another day.