The 28th of July 2011 I said goodbye to a dear friend. My horse Lise. This was one of the hardest days of my life, if not the hardest. Now a year has past and it’s weird to think off how much my life has changed.
28 th of July 2012 was a weird day. First I was called into work, everything was falling apart and apparently I was the only one to call. I ran out the door and raced to work. Worked my ass off went home and there my entire family was waiting to celebrate my brothers 30th birthday. Then day continued, people everywhere, small talk and alcohol. I just wanted to be alone, alone with my memories.
I struggled to keep it together, but when the clock turned six I couldn’t anymore. I went to my room, hugged her bridle while tears ran down my cheeks. My boyfriend came and sat beside me, then we drove home. He tugged me in bed and I cried. I couldn’t stop. I barely slept that night, I was haunted by nightmares and every time I woke up my mind could only think of Lise. My beloved sweetheart.
Sometimes I fear that I’ll never allow myself to love another animal this much, because it has taken out a lot of me to say goodbye to this one. Lise was my first horse, I bought her when I was twelve and she was everything a twelve-year-old girl should never own. She had a lot of skeleton in her closet, but we managed to overcome every single one. I’m still proud of that. She will always be my first love. My only true friend. Some days I wish that I could sit in her stall and just watch her. I always did that, when the world became too much. She was just always there.
The day after Lise was put down I was on my first date with my current boyfriend. I’m not sure why I’d scheduled it for that day, but lets just say I was a little confused and beside myself. Luckily he liked me anyway 😉
We started dating and quickly decided that we we’re a couple. Or he asked and I freaked, but only a little bit. Not enough to say no.
The only problem was that I was leaving for Brussels later that month, for four months. That wasn’t an obstacle though and we decided that we could do it. We could.
Brussels was an amazing experience for me. I only wish that I had went before I found myself in a serious relationship and not right after I had put my horse down. But, other than that it was truly a great thing to try.
When I returned my boyfriend quickly moved in and it actually wasn’t as horrifying as I’d thought. I never would have thought that I could just let a guy in that easily, but with this one it wasn’t a problem. We’re still living together and it’s going better than ever. A year ago I never thought that I would be here. I was partying like a madman and drinking my brains out. Now, I can hardly remember the last time I was out on the town partying. I’ve been drunk at private parties, but not in bars and such anymore. I don’t miss it. Depressing to realise that you actually only did it to find a guy, rather sad. 😉
So, I’ve changed. Or my habits have changed. For the better I believe, but it’s still weird how things can change in 365 days.
Here we are in Alicante looking adorable.
I haven’t that much more to say. I could post millions of pictures of Lise and I could sit here and cry until my computer is soaked, but I’ll end this post with a one picture. One picture that always makes me smile and remember how amazing this horse was.